Today was tough. It was Mother’s Day. It took me about 4 hours to get out of bed. Partly because pain, but mostly because I couldn’t face what was on the other side of the bedroom door. Three sweet girls with precious offerings of homemade cards and presents. Offerings I didn’t feel worthy of receiving. The hardest thing for sure about living with severe, chronic pain is not being able to be the mom I want to be. I didn’t feel worthy of being celebrated today. I haven’t been able to much of a “mom” this year. There’s been very few homemade, organic, gluten free lunches with special notes and crust less sandwiches. I’ve been MIA at their school. My kids have to say thing like, “Mom, someday if you feel better and your head doesn’t hurt can you... with me?” It absolutely breaks my heart wide open.
So after making it through that doorway and being lavished with hugs and misspelled cards, I instantly was reminded that children can feel and know the intensity of our love for them even if we aren’t able to “do” all the and things that other moms can do. That today isn’t about celebrating our ability as mothers, but just simply our love. And as flawed as we all are, that’s still a very powerful thing.